Yes, there are gym obsessed straights who are supreme assholes, but the majority of straight people do not care how other people look. People will say “oh well, straight people are judgmental/rude about appearances as well” but in my experience, straight people are nowhere near as judgmental as gay men. I have no clue why gays are so judgmental about other people’s appearance- they can be absolutely cruel. I had never been an overweight person, so it was just a really shocking and demoralizing experience all around for me. of mostly muscle, which is a healthy weight for my height and body composition. It took me almost two years, but I ended up losing 55 lbs, and am down to 125-130 lbs. Somehow, that was less awful than the one who objectified me and then told me he was basically a chubby chaser and how “hot” it was that I had gotten fat, and how he wanted me to gain another 100 lbs by the end of the year. I had made plans to hang out with a guy who knew me when I was skinnier, and he downright told me he was disgusted by me and left as soon as he saw me. I got so much attention from guys when I was deathly thin, and so many insults and downright rudeness when I was heavier. When I got into recovery when I was 22, I went from drastically underweight, 5’7 and 85 pounds, to almost obese at 5’7 and 180 pounds within 6 months.
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I was an addict for 7 years, and I also have and eating disorder, along with Crohn’s diseases/lupus. If you want to loose some weight, do it for you, if it makes you feel confident or just better about yourself and all but don't do it for those assholes.
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Also some guys that aren't on the heavier side are attracted to guys that are (I am), they might not be the majority but there are some so even if you aren't into big guys you can find guys to hookup with or have sex. I heard the are pretty friendly and open minded and they were born kinda because of what you described there. There are apps that are focused on bears/bigger guys in general like growlr or bearYou can also try to see if there is a gay club or bar that is focused on bears. I think the other thing you can do is to include yourself in the bear community.
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If you want to keep using the mainstream apps and go to places where you'll risk getting these behaviours, you'll have to get a tough skin sadly. I don't really understand why these guys act the way they do, it's probably about their insecurities and they take them on you.
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I don't know what you experienced exactly but I used to date a guy that was pretty heavy and he had been scared badly by those assholes. I mean I get fat shaming till a certain extent, but just putting heavier people off based purely on appearance (turning them down sexually is more than OK, I mean turning them down as a "normal" person/friend) is just wrong imo.
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You don't want to be seen with them and preferably not talk to them. Idk if I'm alone on this but I really feel like fat younger gays aren't welcome in the community. One time I got told to leave because I'm not wished on photos lmao. Same goes for gay clubs, always the nasty views and discrimination. I'm not even messaging the hot guys anymore because of obvious reasons ?♂️ but all these idiots really makes me wish I was straight, so I could get a hooker and move on after. Getting told to end myself because I'm disgusting, getting insults from matches and just overall negativity is just annoying. I do, but it takes time because I'm naturally more of a lazy person and I still want to have a sex life while changing.īut holy shit some or most on dating/hook up apps are over the top. I understand and accept it - I need to change to be desired by many. So yea, not that many gays will be interested naturally.